"My soul thirsts for God, for the living God. When can I go and meet with God?" Psalm 42:2 (NIV)

Devotion:

At the beginning of this year, I made myself a promise--to read the Bible every single day. In order to be faithful to this commitment, I had to make this a priority above all the other things I used to enjoy doing in the morning. This meant that I would not check emails or read blogs, or start my daily household chores, or sleep a few precious extra minutes. I had to make this the first thing I did every day--and I had to keep doing it to make it a habit.

The first few days were hard. I didn't want to get up earlier. I didn't want to be held accountable if I didn't "feel" like doing it. I found myself looking back at the days when I could just get up and jump online without feeling guilty. I found myself thinking, "Why did I get myself into this?"

And then I remembered a horrifying moment when I realized that, in all the busyness of life, I had let go of my connection to my Savior. I had stopped abiding in Him. I had broken off my daily fellowship in His Word. All of the demands on me had caused me to tell God I would just have to get to Him "later." I had allowed my lifestyle to dictate my spirituality. I decided to become more intentional about reconnecting with my Savior and His Father. This was not a moment about guilt and obligation--far from it--this was a brokenhearted time of grieving over what I was missing.

From that moment on, I began to do the things I knew from experience would help me stay connected. I purchased a Bible written in a translation I could read with ease and that was divided into easily readable increments. I read Christian books that inspired me. I turned on praise music in my house and cranked up the volume. I spent time praying every day--shutting out all the noise and demands in my life so that I could focus on God. I learned anew what it means to listen for God's voice, and then to take that important second step by actively responding to His voice.

This was a process I submitted myself to willingly, through no provocation save the urging of the Holy Spirit. I offered all I had--including my limitations--up to God, knowing that He sees my heart as the very basis of it all. Some days I have been more committed to it than others as I have established this habit in my life. And I know that He loves me, even on the days I fall short. Especially on the days I fall short.

This morning I woke up on my own just as dawn's light was streaking the sky. I sat up and reached for my Bible, anticipating what God would say to me, savoring the precious moments I have with Him before life unfolds. What was once so difficult for me to make happen is now a joy and a delight in my life. I no longer have to force myself to spend time with God--it has become a habit that is as much a part of my day as breathing. I hunger and thirst for His Word. I need it like I need air. I am so grateful He waited for me to figure that out, and was right there waiting patiently when I came running back to Him